It has been quite a while since I have written something on this blog. I went through a ‘little hump’ that hindered me not just in writing but also in studying. Things happen. I continually questioned myself of whether I do need to further my studies. Somehow I got distracted by fun things. It was fun alright but I need to get back on track. As I go further with my studies, I learned how to be wise. How? Studying does not have to be expensive. I continue to seek knowledge but it does not have to be costly.
No one is totally incapable. Most of the time, people does not know what they are really worth. As I go along with this life, I begin to realize that there is something that I can do and I must do it. Thinking and saying things will not prove anything. I have to get on it and do the things I want to achieve. Believe me, it’s tiring. When you think you cannot do anything, that is most likely to be true. What do I mean? It all starts in the mind. Thinking negatively will not bring you to your goals. It is important to look back what loses you have made but you do not need to be stuck. If resources were lost, then get up and try to get them back. Save what you can and continue. The greatest thing is that you can still continue. It is not still the end.
Upon realizing what I really want, I begin to ponder what are my strengths are. Those people who did excel did not give up. They made a way. They have suffered but they succeeded. Without suffering you will not achieve something. Most people get indulged into thinking that they are unfortunate. In turn, they lose what is valuable and important. I do not want to be in list of wannabees. I want to be what I want to be.
There is much beauty and wonder to what people are. We have emotions and feelings that is not evident to machines. As I go through my journey into the programming world, I came to realize so much about humans and life itself. Experiences of people are like gradients. They are full of color and sometimes full of compromises. Those compromises can be good sometimes and be destructive with the wrong motives.
Machines have a different language. They are definitive and uniform. The statement of zeros and ones can never be too good. They are just true or false. In to this context I presume that humans are better. We have this thing called shades and brightness. Those things really matter. No matter how good a programmer is, they are still subject to those emotions and feelings. No human can be exempt to this. That is the complexity of life.
As a struggling web designer and software engineer, I find myself in the endless loop of finding answers that somewhat makes me lost in the mix. Even though I am in the tide of endless surging waves, I still find the hope to move on. There is this purpose that is embedded in my heart that someday would be a fruit to something good. Maybe that is the only thing that matters. Having hope means that something good is on its way.
Lately, life is not as good. Circumstances of some sort is creeping in and I can’t seem to find my rhythm. Even so, I have to go on. I have to paddle harder into this storm that will never seem to cease. It’s just that I have to be strong enough to keep on paddling. I know that this has been the dilema of many but I refuse to give up. I can still do something good in this field. I refuse to go down!
All of the pieces are coming together. I used to think that I can do everything in one swoosh. Web Design is much complex as I thought it could be. However it is not impossible to learn. Honestly I have the right tools already. I have the camera that I can use to get the pictures I want. Not only that, I can also use videos that I want to do the things I need to do. I also learning how to put those things in my media which is the internet. I am an artist and I could never deny that. I also have my hosting and domain already so there is no excuse for me not to produce. I also have the time to properly construct the things I want to. I also have a good job to support whenever I want to study. This is not the time to be slacking off. I just need to settle my mind on what I need to put on my canvas. Life is beautiful. God did not make things to look ugly but sometimes if we are only truthful to the things we reveal over our canvass, most people would find it interesting.
Looking over the state of our nation, there is so much pretention and so much hypocrisy that most of our people grow deaf of what is really eating up our society. There is so much injustice but on the other hand there is also a lot of inconsistencies among those who are poor. Why does the poor is always poor and also why does the rich always rich? It is an argument that has been widely contested by not only those who are poor or rich but actually of everyone. It maybe a factor of being lazy or being someone in power that manipulates everything. One can be poor because he is lazy and one can be rich because he pulls different strings to his advantage. Both of ways are happening however many does not accept the fact or even know of it.
The journalist is me is kicking already but hey, I am planning what to put in my canvass. I should speak more and more of it. What’s been talking about sometimes do not push through but it is better than just allow it to rot somewhere. There will be a time that I would be able to read this article and I am glad to spit my heart out now than never.