There is much beauty and wonder to what people are. We have emotions and feelings that is not evident to machines. As I go through my journey into the programming world, I came to realize so much about humans and life itself. Experiences of people are like gradients. They are full of color and sometimes full of compromises. Those compromises can be good sometimes and be destructive with the wrong motives.
Machines have a different language. They are definitive and uniform. The statement of zeros and ones can never be too good. They are just true or false. In to this context I presume that humans are better. We have this thing called shades and brightness. Those things really matter. No matter how good a programmer is, they are still subject to those emotions and feelings. No human can be exempt to this. That is the complexity of life.
As a struggling web designer and software engineer, I find myself in the endless loop of finding answers that somewhat makes me lost in the mix. Even though I am in the tide of endless surging waves, I still find the hope to move on. There is this purpose that is embedded in my heart that someday would be a fruit to something good. Maybe that is the only thing that matters. Having hope means that something good is on its way.
Lately, life is not as good. Circumstances of some sort is creeping in and I can’t seem to find my rhythm. Even so, I have to go on. I have to paddle harder into this storm that will never seem to cease. It’s just that I have to be strong enough to keep on paddling. I know that this has been the dilema of many but I refuse to give up. I can still do something good in this field. I refuse to go down!
All of the pieces are coming together. I used to think that I can do everything in one swoosh. Web Design is much complex as I thought it could be. However it is not impossible to learn. Honestly I have the right tools already. I have the camera that I can use to get the pictures I want. Not only that, I can also use videos that I want to do the things I need to do. I also learning how to put those things in my media which is the internet. I am an artist and I could never deny that. I also have my hosting and domain already so there is no excuse for me not to produce. I also have the time to properly construct the things I want to. I also have a good job to support whenever I want to study. This is not the time to be slacking off. I just need to settle my mind on what I need to put on my canvas. Life is beautiful. God did not make things to look ugly but sometimes if we are only truthful to the things we reveal over our canvass, most people would find it interesting.
Looking over the state of our nation, there is so much pretention and so much hypocrisy that most of our people grow deaf of what is really eating up our society. There is so much injustice but on the other hand there is also a lot of inconsistencies among those who are poor. Why does the poor is always poor and also why does the rich always rich? It is an argument that has been widely contested by not only those who are poor or rich but actually of everyone. It maybe a factor of being lazy or being someone in power that manipulates everything. One can be poor because he is lazy and one can be rich because he pulls different strings to his advantage. Both of ways are happening however many does not accept the fact or even know of it.
The journalist is me is kicking already but hey, I am planning what to put in my canvass. I should speak more and more of it. What’s been talking about sometimes do not push through but it is better than just allow it to rot somewhere. There will be a time that I would be able to read this article and I am glad to spit my heart out now than never.
I remember the days when someone prominent discouraged me in pursuing my preferred job. Now I am forever grateful for that instance because I am now pursuing the things I want to do. Honestly it is hard to do the things you want to become. The path is not as smooth as you think and there will be instances that will make the ride more rough. Nevertheless, it is more gratifying to pursue things that you want rather than sticking with the same thing that you dislike. Life is not forgiving and most of the time what is in your mind does not come into life unless you put your own life in the line. What does that mean? Basically it is putting your very life into the dream. It may sound very dreamish but in reality it is hard work.
I am in the business where the zeros and ones matter. Logic is everything and whether you spend much time or less time, it all boils down to the result. Humans have a different interpretations of what the result is. Most people have gradients coming from zero to one. However in the world I choose to move, there is only zeros and ones. It’s either you make it or not. I guess that is the life of engineers. Now it does not mean that we are just machines. I do breathe and move and enjoy life. It’s just that I am moving into the place where it really matters. Maybe for some what I am doing right now is just a little thing. I guess the journey is far more rewarding than the destination.
One of the key component I guess is time. Without time, no one could create any form. Most people think about the outcome and they celebrate it very vibrantly but disregard the struggle to achieve the feat. It is really unfair to call it talent when someone gets the success. Much time, effort, sweat and blood was spent to hone such skill. For me, getting there is no more satisfying than fulfilling the things you have in mind.
Before, all I ever got to do is wishful thinking. I keep on saying things that I want to do or accomplish but never really doing it. Sad part is when I bump into a wall, I am quick to give up and never rise again. Standing up is always part of having a form. If you have not yet fallen then maybe you are still under achieving. With great dream comes with so much responsibility. Responsibility means not just standing up but sometimes it will catch you on your knees. Sometimes even so low with your knees still does not accomplish anything. What I have learned is taking heart and moving on is the most important thing. Just don’t stop.